Locking Yourself In The Library
by Abigail-Nicole
Summary: Lily, you're insane, you have your whole life and you're locking yourself in the Library. Narcissa confronts a depressed Lily in the Library. All dialogue, co-written with Liebling.


**Locking Yourself In The Library**

Guys, my face is itching like crazy and breaking out and I have Social Studies homework, but I'd much rather write this fic for you. I love all you guys, my favorite reviewers, and this is partially for **Faith Maguire** who left me such funny, interesting reviews. Review this one, girl, and this time leave your email!

Inspired by Liebling's dialogue she wrote specifically for this, so it's **co-written with Liebling,** who wrote the first lovely Lily/Narcissa dialogue for this. All praise her.

**Disclaimer:** I own Lucius and James. I created them, I play with them, I put them into black leather and do kinky things with them My name is JK Rowling. I also created Lily and Narcissa, though I do not do kinky things with them. _(doors slam and gunfire is heard in the background)_ (_coughs)_ Um, I mean, of course I don't own any of them! I am not JK Rowling, all these characters are property of her, and I claim no rights to them! Song is by Switchfoot, _Gone._

* * *

_she told him she'd rather fix her makeup  
than try to fix what's going on  
but the problem keeps on calling  
even with the cellphone gone  
she told him that she believes in living  
bigger than she's living now  
but her world keeps spinning backwards  
and upside down  
  
-  
_

**_It wasn't enough that her parents had been killed, sending her into a spiraling wave of depression that nothing had been able to pull her out of. She had stopped caring about everything--lying in bed all day, skipping classes, refusing to speak to anyone, hoarding herself up in the library. Even when McGonagall had spoken to her, she couldn't bring herself to care about anything. James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus had taken to bothering her at all times--James had skipped Potions for a week, talking to her in the Library, until Professor McGonagall had put a stop to that. She had been given detentions, D's, zeros, but nothing had mattered to her._**

_-_

"You're wasting away, Lily."

"Who said that?"

"Narcissa, look over here, braniac."

"But I'm not anymore, am I? Skipping like I am?"

"Good point."

"Did Lucius send you over here?"

"Lucius doesn't send me anywhere."

"That's what his owl says."

"What?"

"I said that's what his owl says. You know, an owl travels all around delivering letters."

"That was funny, Lily. Ha. Ha."

"What do you want?"

"You're hogging the library."

"I am not."

"Stop sniffling."

"I'm not sniffling."

"James really loves you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. And if you don't see it, you're a moron."

"I doubt you'd know about that, Narcissa."

"Oh, we all do. Us Slytherins. Love, hearts, candy, roses...those corny Gryffindor things, that we don't know about. But real love is much different than that."

"Thank you for shining your light on me, you can go now."

"It's ironic, I see you wasting away in this corner, and I see James wasting away in his own little corner."

"James is fine."

"He misses you."

"Me?"

"Ironic, isn't it?"

"James is fine."

"You can't see people who are hurting, Lily?"

"Nobody asked for your opinion."

"Then it's a good thing I don't have to be asked in order to tell it, isn't it?"

"Suppose."

"How did your parents die?"

_"Don't you talk about them."_

"Oh, it's not a talking thing?"

"It is most certainly not a 'talking thing'"

"My Father died when I was two."

"How?"

"Blew himself up."

"Oh, that's terrible."

"I'm just kidding."

"Good, because I was being sarcastic."

"You don't know sarcasm."

"You don't sleep, do you?"

"I sleep."

"James always sees you on the Marauders' Map walking around in the middle of the night."

"I don't know what your little 'boyfriend' is doing looking at me. And what's the Marauder's Map?"

"Don't care to tell you, so, why don't you sleep?"

"Oh we all have our little issues, don't we? You Gryffindors think you're supposed to be perfect, try being a Slytherin. Nightmares."

"James knows everything that goes on in this castle."

"No one knows everything."

"James does."

"Then why aren't you with him?"

"Ignorance is so much better than cynicism."

"Lucius is a cynic...of course, he's much more than a cynic, he's a good kisser and he's..."

"James isn't a cynic."

"But the question is: is he a good kisser? Probably not. Go talk to him."

"Maybe me and James could waste away together? Drown in our own misery?"

"Sounds delightful. You really are more charming when you're depressed."

"To a Slytherin, maybe."

"Oh, very funny. I told Lucius I'd meet him on the pitch, I better get going. But Lily..."

"Yes?"

"Go talk to James."

"...I might. Goodbye."

"Bye."

"Narcissa?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you a cynic?"

"Not quite."

* * *

_she said he said live like no tomorrow  
every moment that we borrow  
brings us closer to the edge (infinity)_

* * *

"You look horrible." 

"Oh, that's tactful."

"Nobody ever said I was tactful, I'm a Slytherin. You have Hufflepuffs to be tactful."

"So you come along to tell me how horrible I look?"

"You haven't showered in a week, you look frankly disgusting. You haven't even washed your face, I can see eyeliner and mascara where you've been crying."

"And you're perfect, I suppose? Your clothes are wrinkled, if you haven't noticed."

"But they're clean. And my hair is washed and brushed and fixed."

"Of course, your hair is fixed and your fingernails are always perfect, right?"

"You're such a selfish prat."

"What?"

"You're such a selfish prat! You think you're so great, skipping classes all the time and hiding yourself in here to get attention."

"I'm not doing this to get attention!"

"Then why are you doing it?"

"It's...it's none of your business!"

"Oh, okay, fine then. But you're still really selfish. You're making James miserable."

"This isn't about James."

"No, it's not. It's all about you, right? You're so sad, you lost your parents. Oh, look at me, I'm Lily Evans, and I can't deal with death like normal people, I have to be all bratty and get attention--"

_"Shut up."_

"Oh, hitting a nerve, am I? Suck it up, sister, you're getting no slack from me. Other people have problems too, you know. You're not the only girl in the world with problems."

"You don't know anything."

"I know more than you do."

"You don't know anything."

"I've seen you. You think you're showing off, that you're being lonely and angsty, that you can't go on living. That's just selfishness. Look at you. You're a pathetic excuse for a human being. Either live or die, make up your mind. If you're going to stay alive, do it right. If you're going to die, then kill yourself, don't just hang around here bothering us."

"How...how can you say such things?"

"Because they're true. Because someone has to say them."

"You think you know everything, Narcissa! But you don't! Your parents aren't dead, okay! You don't know what it feels like, you don't know what it's like to be me!"

"Oh, whine, whine, whine. Angst, angst, angst. Nobody cares, Lily, wake up and smell the roses! Don't give me that 'nobody loves me' crap, James Potter loves you and you're damned if you don't see it!"

"Why do you always talk about James? James, James, James! James doesn't even know me, James doesn't mean anything to me!"

"Wouldn't say that too loud, he might be watching you on his little Map."

"I don't care! Why do you keep bringing up James?"

"You're so naieve, Lily. You don't know anything. You think you have choices? Destiny is slapping you in the face, girl, you don't have a choice in half the crap you do. You're going to marry James Potter."

"I don't believe in Divination."  
  
"It's not Divination, it's instinct, and it's never wrong. Never once. I can see it in your eyes and the way he looks at you. James Potter is special, Lily, James Potter is beautiful and he's a good boy. You don't even want what you've got. You know how many Slytherin girls would kill for a good boy like James Potter? Someone that doesn't look at you just for sex and power? Someone that actually cares about you? You don't know how good you got it."

"It's not my problem what you Slytherins do, you don't have to be like that! Why do you come over here and talk to me, Narcissa? Do you find it amusing to talk to the little pathetic Gryffindor sitting in the library all by herself?"

"You're hogging the Library."

"It's big enough for two of us, Narcissa."  
  
"You think so? You don't know the Library, Lily, the Library is only made for one person, it's made for me. It's made for you. But it can't be made for both of us, not at the same time. You're so naieve. You don't know anything about magic, do you? No, you're a Mudblood, you can't. This isn't just a room, Lily."

"Don't you dare call me a Mudblood."

"What, you're going to sic James on me?"

"Don't smoke. It's bad for you."

"I'll survive. It's you who are going to die."

"We're all going to die."

"But most of us try to live before we do it. Lily, you're insane, you have your whole life and you're locking yourself in the Library."

"I don't care, Narcissa."

"You should care."

"I don't know how."  
  
"Go talk to James. Walk up to him and snog him senseless."

"No way! Why would I do that?"

"Because you're mascara is all over your face and your hair is horrible and you haven't showered in two days and you look frankly horrible, and he still thinks you're beautiful."

"You're crying, Lily."

"Oh, shut up, Narcissa."

"It's okay. Go talk to him."

"I will. Thank you."

"No problem, kid."

-


End file.
